Awareness and care of our emotional wounds becomes more sustaining when paired with a balanced look at what’s really going on. Reality check is about using our reasoning minds to cut through the gloom of negative or naïve stories with as little bias and anxiety as possible to enable change and growth towards our values.Practice being your own counsellor, finding solutions or options that are realistic and valuing the lessons you can learn.
Embrace Being Human
Surrender to the reality that humans have instinctual fear--it has helped our species survive. Then move into a more meaningful attitude towards anxiety and uncertainty.
Let yourself feel frustrated and then start transforming the setback using frames to help make sense of why it wasn’t a waste, or wasn’t your fault, or wasn’t the end of the world.
Alternatives & Probabilities
There are so many more options than we think. Expanding your sense of timing among other contextual issues will bring more clarity and staying power. Patience is crucial and binary thinking isn’t helpful.
Worst Case Scenario
Worst case scenarios can disable us but if we unpack and walk them through to their final implications, the “monster under the bed” quality is often revealed to be less fearsome.
Decatastrophize setbacks by seeing them as temporary and not your fault. Celebrate your victories and dispute the negative beliefs to find more energy to try again
Sort Known vs Unknown
Make sense of the confusion by filtering out all the noise, separating what you know from what you don’t. For those you don’t know, there are tools to fill in the blanks.
Don’t lose sight of the benefit of competition: it gets you doing your best work. And when there isn’t competition, never fear: it’s a “moat” protecting you while you figure it out.
There isn’t one best way to do anything. Don’t get so obsessed with what you imagine is the optimal outcome. You might miss out on the way it was really meant to happen.